Setelah Beberapa Hari Menjadi Butiran Debu..


Tantangan dari ilmu pengetahuan. Kedamaian dari agama. Kehangatan dari cinta.

Akhir-akhir ini saya jadi butiran debu rasanya. Hidup penuh dengan ketidakjelasan. Mau jalan nggak tahu mau ke mana. Mau makan nggak tahu mau makan apa. Mau jodoh nggak tahu siapa.


Padahal dulu ada teman saya yang bilang, "Kamu tuh beruntung banget tau Ver. Saat orang lain masih galau-galau mau apa dalam hidup, kamu udah tahu mau jadi apa. Dan pada akhirnya...kamu berdiri di sana juga, menghidupi mimpi-mimpi kamu."

Iya, sih.

Eh, scratch that. IYA. IYA, tanpa sih. Karena 'sih' itu menunjukkan penolakan halus atas statement yang telah dibuat.

Saya sebenarnya sudah mencanangkan arah dan visi hidup dari kapan tahun (lihat quotation di awal posting ini? Yeah, that's it). Saya tahu mau apa (jadi penulis, psikolog, preferably neuropsychologist, thank you). Tahu mau ke mana (JERMAN MA MEEEEN! UDAH NGIDAM DARI SD NIH! YA KALIIIIIII MAU NGALIANG DI BANDUNG AJA!). Bahkan sebenarnya tahu juga mau punya jodoh siapa kayak apa.

Terus kenapa? Saya cuma terlalu cemas. Tapi segala kecemasan dan ketakutan itu harus ditaklukkan, bukan? Kelak kalau saya sudah --seperti istilah teman saya itu -- menghidupi mimpi saya, bukan lagi sekadar memimpikan hidup...I will see they are all worth it.

Iya, iya. Semangat kan? Iya nih semangat lagi, hahaha.

source : writer'srelief


Nih bonus untuk memompa semangat mewujudkan mimpi menulis:

"Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet." -- Tiny Beautiful Things

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